Eric Cartman Mourns the Loss of Quant Guru - A Tribute to Jim Simons

A Tribute to the Quant Guru

Oh man sucks to hear that Jim Simons passed away. He was like the Kenny of Wall Street always beating the odds. I mean he made enough money to buy Cartmanland...twice!

Renaissance Man

This dude founded one of the most successful hedge funds on the planet. It's like the Coon and Friends of finance always coming out on top.

Quantitative Strategies for the Win

Forget about Warren Buffett and George Soros! Simons was all about those algorithms and automated trading systems. You know like Butters following the rules no matter what!

Simons' Legacy Lives On

You think Kenny's death was sad? Simons' Medallion Fund returned more profits than Cartman's V chip sales. And that's saying something!

From Codebreaker to Math Whiz

Cracking Russian codes during the Vietnam War? That's like Cartman figuring out how to beat a Cheesy Poof eating contest. Genius!

Philanthropy and Math

Simons gave away billions to math and science research. It's like Kyle giving away his Jew gold but for a good cause.