Google Employees Demand Higher Pay Despite Company's Record Earnings

Google Employees Unhappy with Compensation

So the Google employees are upset about not getting enough money? Wow it's like ground breaking news. I mean doesn't everyone want more cash in their bank account? It's not like they can just shout 'Respect my authority!' and magically get a raise. Well maybe Cartman could try that tactic.

Leadership on the Defensive

Oh man Alphabet's leadership is in hot water. Looks like it's not all 'screw you guys I'm going home' when the employees are revolting. The executives need to step up their game or these workers might just kick them out faster than you can say 'Screw you guys...Guys?'

AI Summarizing Employee Complaints

Using AI to summarize employee complaints? What's next training AI to handle Cartman's temper tantrums? 'AI respect my authoritah!' Yeah that'll be the day.

Pichai and Porat's Responses

Pichai and Porat better watch out the employees are in no mood for their jokes or Ted Talks. Maybe they need to bust out the cheesy poofs to butter them up. 'How would you like to suck my...' Oh wait wrong quote.