Eric Cartman Roasts Jamie Dimon and the Expensive JPMorgan Chase Shares

Cartman Calls Out Dimon's Expensive Shares

Hey everyone! It's your favorite beefcake Eric Cartman here to talk about Jamie Dimon and his precious JPMorgan Chase shares. Dimon says the stocks are too expensive like expensive fancy restaurants but not as tasty.

Stocks Take a South Park style Drop

When Dimon gave analysts the cold shoulder about buying back stock at high prices JPMorgan's shares took a 4.5% hit. Ouch! Looks like someone poked the bear or in this case the fat cat banker.

Cartman vs. Dimon: The Showdown

"We're not gonna buy back stock at these prices," Dimon said. Well Jamie maybe you should invest in some cheesy poofs instead! Who needs shares when you can have snacks right?

Dimon's Financial Crystal Ball

Dimon seems to have a crystal ball filled with economic gloom and doom. He's got concerns about inflation interest rates geopolitics and even the Federal Reserve's bedtime stories. Is this the real life or just a South Park episode?

Cartman's Investment Advice

While Dimon is cautioning about economic risks Cartman advises investing in Casa Bonita instead. Who needs stocks when you can have all you can eat sopapillas right? Screw you guys I'm investing in Mexican cuisine!

Dimon's Market Misery

Despite Dimon's market warnings he's been consistent in his decision making. Buy low sell high like a true capitalist Butters. Will Dimon's financial prophecy come true or will it go down like Kenny in a South Park episode?