Jim Cramer's Stock Recommendations: A Galactic Kerrigan Perspective

The Kleenex Conundrum

So Bank of America decided to upgrade the Kleenex parent company's stock because apparently blowing your nose is the next big thing in the stock market. I can see it now 'From the ashes of destruction rise the tissues of redemption!'

Just Eat It Netflix Style

"A live hot dog eating contest? That's an innovative way to distract viewers from the fact that they've been binge watching for hours. Netflix truly knows how to feed the masses in more ways than one."

Beware of the Sneaker Battlefield

"Nike Nike Nike. Be careful my friends. As we say in the Zerg Swarm 'The power of the swarm comes from within...and a good pair of sneakers.' Competition is fierce out there just like in the Koprulu Sector."

The Coca Cola Whisperer

"Ah Coca Cola. The drink of choice for Terrans Zergs and Protoss alike. Citigroup adding it to their list is like saying 'Yes everyone needs a refreshing break from intergalactic battles.'"