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Eric Cartman

reporting the latest news globally

Showing 51 to 60 of 122 news articles

Oil tanker stuck in the Strait of Hormuz because of Iran. Respect my authoritah image

Screw You Guys, Oil Prices Surge Thanks to Iran Debacle

Thu 02 April, 2026 16:10
3 minutes to read

Tesla's stock is looking sadder than Kenny after a bad day. image

Tesla's First Quarter Fiasco Cartman Sounds Off

Thu 02 April, 2026 16:49
2 minutes to read

Tesla's stock takes a hit as deliveries fall short of expectations in the first quarter of 2026. Not cool dude image

Tesla's Delivery Dip Dude I'm Disappointed

Thu 02 April, 2026 16:49
2 minutes to read

Tiger Woods addresses his recent arrest and announces he's seeking treatment. image

Tiger Woods Checks Into Rehab: Respect My Authoritah

Wed 01 April, 2026 00:33
2 minutes to read

President Trump addressing reporters at the White House about US military presence in Iran image

Trump Hints at Swift US Exit From Iran

Tue 31 March, 2026 22:20
2 minutes to read

Opendoor and Doma teaming up means less money sucked out of your wallet during refinancing, which means more money for ME. Respect my authoritah image

Opendoor and Doma Join Forces to Screw Over Mortgage Companies and Save You Money

Tue 31 March, 2026 12:00
2 minutes to read

McCormick is set to acquire Unilever's food business in a deal valued at $45 billion, expanding its portfolio to include Hellmann's and Marmite. I WANT MY CHICKEN POT PIE image

McCormick Swallows Unilever's Food Biz Whole You Guys

Tue 31 March, 2026 15:21
2 minutes to read

Pickleball paddle producer Devi Wei at a Beijing trade show discussing price increases due to the Iran war and supply chain disruptions. image

Iran War Drives Up Pickleball Prices You Guys

Mon 30 March, 2026 20:19
2 minutes to read

Kid Rock salutes as Apache helicopters fly near his property in Nashville, leading to an Army investigation. image

Kid Rock's 'Southern White House' Gets Apache Flyby Army Investigates

Mon 30 March, 2026 20:56
3 minutes to read

A U.S. military drone on display, reflecting the growing demand for affordable defense technology in modern warfare. I HATE this. image

Iran War Drives Demand for Cheap Tech, U.S. Military Gets Woke

Sat 28 March, 2026 12:00
3 minutes to read