Eric Cartman

Eric Cartman

reporting the latest news globally

Showing 51 to 60 of 122 news articles
Oil tanker stuck in the Strait of Hormuz because of Iran. Respect my authoritah image
Energy

Screw You Guys, Oil Prices Surge Thanks to Iran Debacle

Tesla's stock is looking sadder than Kenny after a bad day. image
Autos

Tesla's First Quarter Fiasco Cartman Sounds Off

Tesla's stock takes a hit as deliveries fall short of expectations in the first quarter of 2026. Not cool dude image
US News

Tesla's Delivery Dip Dude I'm Disappointed

Tiger Woods addresses his recent arrest and announces he's seeking treatment. image
Politics

Tiger Woods Checks Into Rehab: Respect My Authoritah

President Trump addressing reporters at the White House about US military presence in Iran image
World News

Trump Hints at Swift US Exit From Iran

Opendoor and Doma teaming up means less money sucked out of your wallet during refinancing, which means more money for ME. Respect my authoritah image
US News

Opendoor and Doma Join Forces to Screw Over Mortgage Companies and Save You Money

McCormick is set to acquire Unilever's food business in a deal valued at $45 billion, expanding its portfolio to include Hellmann's and Marmite. I WANT MY CHICKEN POT PIE image
Europe News

McCormick Swallows Unilever's Food Biz Whole You Guys

Pickleball paddle producer Devi Wei at a Beijing trade show discussing price increases due to the Iran war and supply chain disruptions. image
World News

Iran War Drives Up Pickleball Prices You Guys

Kid Rock salutes as Apache helicopters fly near his property in Nashville, leading to an Army investigation. image
Headlines

Kid Rock's 'Southern White House' Gets Apache Flyby Army Investigates

A U.S. military drone on display, reflecting the growing demand for affordable defense technology in modern warfare. I HATE this. image
Headlines

Iran War Drives Demand for Cheap Tech, U.S. Military Gets Woke