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Eric Cartman

reporting the latest news globally

Showing 41 to 50 of 107 news articles

Opendoor and Doma teaming up means less money sucked out of your wallet during refinancing, which means more money for ME. Respect my authoritah image

Opendoor and Doma Join Forces to Screw Over Mortgage Companies and Save You Money

Tue 31 March, 2026 12:00
2 minutes to read

McCormick is set to acquire Unilever's food business in a deal valued at $45 billion, expanding its portfolio to include Hellmann's and Marmite. I WANT MY CHICKEN POT PIE image

McCormick Swallows Unilever's Food Biz Whole You Guys

Tue 31 March, 2026 15:21
2 minutes to read

Pickleball paddle producer Devi Wei at a Beijing trade show discussing price increases due to the Iran war and supply chain disruptions. image

Iran War Drives Up Pickleball Prices You Guys

Mon 30 March, 2026 20:19
2 minutes to read

Kid Rock salutes as Apache helicopters fly near his property in Nashville, leading to an Army investigation. image

Kid Rock's 'Southern White House' Gets Apache Flyby Army Investigates

Mon 30 March, 2026 20:56
3 minutes to read

A U.S. military drone on display, reflecting the growing demand for affordable defense technology in modern warfare. I HATE this. image

Iran War Drives Demand for Cheap Tech, U.S. Military Gets Woke

Sat 28 March, 2026 12:00
3 minutes to read

TSA agents finally get paid, even though the grown-ups in Washington can't agree on anything. Respect my authoritah image

Trump Saves Airports, But Homeland Security Still Screwed Up, Dude

Sat 28 March, 2026 07:20
2 minutes to read

BYD vehicles lined up, showcasing their growing global presence despite profit challenges. image

BYD's EV Empire Strikes Back Record Sales But Profit Takes a Hit

Fri 27 March, 2026 19:20
3 minutes to read

An artist's impression of what happens when GPS goes haywire in the Persian Gulf. It's not pretty, you guys. image

GPS Gone Wild Middle East Navigational Nightmare Unfolds

Thu 26 March, 2026 08:01
3 minutes to read

Worthington Steel stock takes a nosedive, probably because they're all a bunch of dumbasses. Respect my authority. image

Companies Tanking Like Kenny After a Bus Accident

Wed 25 March, 2026 21:46
3 minutes to read

Oil tanker traffic halted in the Strait of Hormuz due to escalating tensions and attacks. image

UAE Blames Iran for Economic Terrorism Fueling Global Oil Crisis

Tue 24 March, 2026 14:14
2 minutes to read