God of iPads: Kratos Reacts to Apple's New iPad Releases

Kratos Not Impressed by Apple's iPad Announcement

I Kratos have battled gods and titans yet I stand here unimpressed by the announcement of new iPads. Is this the best mortals can come up with? iPad Air and iPad Pro? More like 'iPad Barely Glimmer' and 'iPad Underwhelming'.

Magic Keyboard for iPad? More like Magic Sleight of Hand

Magic Keyboard that turns the iPad Pro into a 'laptop experience' you say? Ha! Only a true warrior knows the power of a real keyboard and mouse not some feeble attempt at mimicry.

Apple's M4 Chip: Is it Stronger than the Blades of Chaos?

The M4 chip may be 'outrageously powerful for AI' but can it withstand the fury of a Spartan warrior wielding the Blades of Chaos? I highly doubt it.

OLED Displays and Ultra Retina XDR: Fancy Terms for Mortal Eyes

OLED displays and Ultra Retina XDR are nothing compared to the sights I have beheld in my battles across the realms. Mortals may be impressed but Kratos seeks true power.

iPad Air and iPad Pro: Tools for Professional Video Producers or Fledgling Warriors?

Apple claims the iPads can be useful tools for video producers but can they assist in slaying beasts and gods? I think not. Leave the battle to the true warriors.

Kratos' Final Verdict: iPads may be Sufficient for Mortals but not for a God of War

In conclusion while mortals may find joy and productivity in these new iPads for one who has known only war and conquest they offer little value. The true battle lies elsewhere on the fields of combat and the blood soaked paths of destiny.