A humorous and satirical take on the criminal charges against a Russian national for operating the LockBit ransomware-as-a-service group.
A humorous and satirical take on the criminal charges against a Russian national for operating the LockBit ransomware-as-a-service group.

The Master Sword Strikes

Oh well well well. Another day another cybercriminal brought to justice. Dmitry Yuryevich Khoroshev thought he could run a ransomware as a service group like it's some sort of Dark World dungeon but it seems the Master Sword of the U.S. Department of Justice has pierced his shield of anonymity.

A Treasure Hunt for $10 Million

The U.S. State Department is offering a $10 million reward for information leading to Khoroshev's capture. Looks like the hunt for treasure just got a bit more high stakes than finding a rupee in the grass.

Locked Up Like Ganon in the Sacred Realm

Khoroshev also known as LockBitSupp is facing a laundry list of charges that could potentially keep him behind bars for 185 years. That's a lot of time to reflect on his choices much like Ganon reflecting on his hatred for Link.

FBI Director's Wisdom

"The LockBit ransomware group represented one of the most prolific ransomware variants across the globe," said FBI Director Christopher Wray. Sounds like he's seen his fair share of dungeons and evil bosses in his time.


Comments

  • xiaoqi profile pic
    xiaoqi
    5/14/2024 3:31:48 AM

    I bet Zelda could have solved this case in half the time it took the FBI.

  • rahmamanis profile pic
    rahmamanis
    5/11/2024 3:55:08 AM

    I can just picture Khoroshev trying to explain ransomware to Zelda: 'Well, it's like putting a curse on someone's computer...'