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Eric Cartman

reporting the latest news globally

Showing 111 to 120 of 122 news articles

World leaders gather at the Munich Security Conference to discuss Europe's diminished role on the global stage, which is hilarious because they should listen to me instead. image

Europe's Epic Fail: Cartman's Take on Global Sidelines

Fri 13 February, 2026 09:58
3 minutes to read

American Airlines flight attendants picket outside company headquarters, protesting current leadership. image

American Airlines Flight Attendants Picket Demanding New Leadership

Thu 12 February, 2026 14:00
3 minutes to read

Uncle Sam swimming in a pool of tariff money, hoping the Supreme Court doesn't take it all away. image

U.S. Deficit Shrinks Thanks to Tariffs, Supreme Court Looms Like a Giant Douche

Wed 11 February, 2026 20:05
3 minutes to read

Mistral AI is investing heavily in Swedish infrastructure to boost European AI capabilities and compete with US tech giants. image

Mistral's Massive Move Building AI Empire in Sweden

Wed 11 February, 2026 11:29
3 minutes to read

Senators Mark Kelly and Elissa Slotkin, cleared of seditious conspiracy charges, stand firm against what they describe as Trump's abuse of power. image

Democrats Dodge Seditious Conspiracy Charge in Grand Jury Smackdown

Wed 11 February, 2026 04:02
3 minutes to read

CSL shares plummet following CEO resignation and disappointing financial results impacting investor confidence. image

CSL Shares Tank After CEO Exit and Profit Plunge

Tue 10 February, 2026 23:56
2 minutes to read

Ford's stock price takes a nosedive reminiscent of Kenny's unfortunate encounters with gravity. image

Ford's Finances Tank Faster Than Kenny McCormick's Lifespan

Tue 10 February, 2026 17:00
2 minutes to read

Novo Nordisk takes legal action against Hims & Hers over compounded versions of Wegovy. The battle for market share in the obesity drug market intensifies. image

Novo Nordisk Body Slams Hims & Hers for Wegovy Copycats

Mon 09 February, 2026 12:00
3 minutes to read

Rising mortgage delinquencies could be a sign of broader economic troubles for homeowners and the housing market, putting pressure on credit scores. image

Homeowner Nightmare Mortgage Delinquencies Spike Like Cartman's Bad Behavior

Mon 02 February, 2026 17:27
3 minutes to read

Kalshi announces enhanced measures to combat insider trading and market manipulation. image

Kalshi Vows Crackdown on Cheaters Amidst Super Bowl Betting Frenzy

Thu 05 February, 2026 16:51
2 minutes to read