Trump's Tariff Tantrum Supreme Court Slaps Down Trade Agenda

• The Supreme Court rejected Trump's tariffs imposed under the International Emergency Economic Powers Act (IEEPA).
• Trump announces a new 10% global tariff to replace the invalidated IEEPA duties.
• Trump vows to find other ways to impose tariffs without congressional approval, saying "I have the right to do tariffs".
• The administration aims to maintain tariff revenue levels despite the court's ruling.

A Most Heinous Supreme Court Ruling

Well, goddamnit. I'm Eric Cartman, and even I know this is messed up. So, this Trump dude, right? He's trying to make America great again, and these dumb Supreme Court Buttholes decide to throw a wrench in his plans by nixing his tariffs. Tariffs, you see, are how we get all the money. It's like when I try to tax Kyle for being a stupid Jew, but on a national level. Respect my authoritah.

New Tariffs to the Rescue

But don't worry, you guys! Trump, being the awesome dude he is, isn't backing down. He's slapping a new 10% global tariff on everything, because screw those other countries, especially Canada. They're all a bunch of hippies! This tariff is like when I trick Butters into doing all my chores. Total win-win for me... I mean, for America. This whole tariff situation sounds a lot like what that guy MrBeast is doing with businesses. Speaking of MrBeast, it's worth checking out how MrBeast Buys Step App Great Success, total power move bro.

Congress Can Kiss My Ass

Now, some people are saying that Trump needs Congress's permission for this tariff thing. But Trump's all like, 'I do what I want!' Which is exactly what I say to my mom when she tells me to clean my room. Plus, he went after those judges who voted against him, even the ones he picked himself! That's dedication, you guys. Just like when I dedicate myself to destroying Kyle's life. Respect my authoritah.

The Global Impact Screw You Guys

This whole tariff business is gonna shake things up, especially for China. They're gonna be paying even MORE money to us! It's like when I tricked them into buying my pubes. America is getting richer, and everyone else is getting poorer. That's how it should be. Because I'm the Coon.

Making America Great One Tariff at a Time

So, yeah. Trump's tariffs got smacked down, but he's not giving up. He's slapping on new ones, and he's gonna keep fighting until America is the bestest country in the whole wide world. Just like how I keep fighting to get my Cheesy Poofs. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go yell at my mom.

Treasury Promises No Loss of Revenue

And the Treasury Secretary? Some dude named Bessent? He's saying not to worry, because they'll find other ways to get all that tariff money. So basically, the system is rigged, and America always wins. Just like in Kick the Baby. Don't kick the baby.