Breaking News: Shrek's Take on Biden's Order for Chinese-Backed Cryptocurrency Company to Sell Land Near Wyoming Missile Base

Getting Swampy Near a Missile Base

So it looks like MineOne a company with a name more fitting for a dwarf than a mining operation decided to set up shop right next to a 'strategic missile base' in Wyoming. Sounds like they were itching for trouble just like when Donkey couldn't stop talking in the carriage ride.

Shrek's National Security Concerns

Now now President Biden is all riled up citing 'national security concerns' because MineOne had specialized equipment that could be used for espionage. Reminds me of the time I had to protect my swamp from Lord Farquaad's spies!

A 'Divest and Conquer' Approach

Biden's like the fairy godmother waving his wand ordering MineOne to sell the land and remove equipment in 120 days! Talk about a 'divest and conquer' approach. I wonder if he knows any good muffin men for the job?

Chinese Companies Feeling the Heat

Seems like Chinese companies are in hot water these days in the U.S. TikTok MineOne who's next? It's like everyone's trying to put a damper on their dragon fire. Maybe they should've taken a rain check before setting up near a missile base!

CFIUS The Real Dragon Slayer

Ah the U.S. Committee on Foreign Investment in the United States swooping in like a dragon slayer to investigate deals near sensitive facilities. Good thing they're keeping an eye out just like how I keep an eye on Donkey.

Securing the Kingdom

Janet Yellen stepping up to praise CFIUS for guarding the kingdom from foreign investment that could threaten national security. It's like the dragon guarding the castle making sure no one steals the princess or the secret cookie recipe!