Trump's Tariff Tantrum Thwarted by Supreme Court

• Supreme Court strikes down President Trump's key tariff policy in a 6-3 ruling.
• The court found that the statute used to justify the tariffs did not authorize the import duties.
• This ruling represents a major setback for Trump's economic agenda and foreign policy.
• President Trump scheduled a press briefing to respond to the Supreme Court's decision.

Respect My Authoritah The Supreme Court Throws the Book at Trump

Alright, listen up, you guys. It's Eric Cartman here, and I'm reporting live from my freakin' living room, where I'm way more qualified to talk about this than anyone at CNN. So, apparently, the Supreme Court just told President Trump to sit his fat ass down. They basically said his tariff thingy was a load of crap, which, let's be honest, it probably was. It's about time someone told that dude "respect my authoritah". This whole thing is messing with my freakin' Cheesy Poofs supply chain, and that is NOT cool.

Trump's Economic Agenda Goes Down the Toilet Like a Kenny McCormick

So, this whole tariff debacle was like, a HUGE part of Trump's plan to make America great again, or whatever. But now that the Supreme Court flushed it down the toilet, I guess he's gotta come up with something else. Maybe he can try selling more hats that say "Make America Great Again". I bet I could make a killing selling those things at school. I bet you would like to read this article about Rivian Defies Gravity with R2 Launch and Sales Target. Imagine that. It'd be way better than this stupid tariff crap. But let me tell you, this is a major blow to Trump's economic strategy – I mean, it's basically like when Kenny dies, again… and again.

Karoline Leavitt Announces Presidential Tantrum er… Press Briefing

So, Trump's little helper, Karoline Leavitt, announced that he's gonna have a press briefing. I'm sure it'll be super professional and not at all like a fourth-grade kid throwing a tantrum because he didn't get his way. I'm expecting lots of yelling, maybe some name-calling, and definitely some blaming of everyone else but himself. Seriously, he probably thinks this is all Kyle's fault somehow. That Jew.

Six to Three, Dude? That's a Freakin' Landslide of Dumbassery

The Supreme Court voted six to three against Trump's tariffs. Six to three. That's like, a freakin' landslide of dumbassery. I'm not even sure what that means, but it sounds serious. I bet even Butters knows more about tariffs than Trump does right now, and that's saying something, because Butters is, well, Butters.

Blame Canada or Mexico, I Don't Care. Just Fix My Cheesy Poof Supply

Look, I don't care who's fault this is. Blame Canada, blame Mexico, blame the freakin' Woodland Critters for all I care. Just fix my Cheesy Poof supply chain, and make sure my freakin' XBOX still works. That's all I ask. And maybe, just maybe, Trump should listen to me for once. I mean, come on, I'm Eric Cartman. I know everything.

Screw You Guys, I'm Going Home

Alright, I'm done here. This whole thing is boring. I'm gonna go watch Terrance and Phillip and eat some Cheesy Poofs. Screw you guys, I'm going home.