China's Economy Looks Flatter Than Lois' Singing Voice

• China's consumer inflation rose a teensy bit in January, but not as much as experts thought it would.
• Factory prices are still dropping, which is bad news for businesses trying to make a buck.
• The Lunar New Year messed with the numbers, making it harder to figure out what's really going on.
• China's government is trying to boost the economy but is wary of racking up too much debt.

Inflation's Doing the Limbo

Alright, so China's consumer price index went up 0.2% in January. Sounds like a lot, right? Wrong. Experts were expecting 0.4%. That's like expecting a date with Mila Kunis and ending up with Meg. Disappointing, to say the least. And get this, core CPI, which is like CPI without the crazy stuff like food and energy prices, only jumped 0.8%. It's slower than Stewie trying to take over the world.

Factory Prices Are Still Sinking Faster Than The Drunken Clam's Stock

The producer price index dropped 1.4%. It's like the opposite of inflation, kinda like how Brian's writing career is the opposite of successful. This deflation has been hanging around for over three years, making it tough for manufacturers to make money. It's harder than explaining quantum physics to Peter, or even worse, explaining why I have to go to work instead of getting drunk with Quagmire. For more insights, check out Popular Inc Stock Upgrade Bank of America Sees Caribbean Bank Play Soaring.

Lunar New Year Messing Everything Up Like A Giant Chicken Fight

Apparently, the Lunar New Year is throwing a wrench into the data. It's like when I try to cook Thanksgiving dinner – total chaos. Some experts are saying we should just ignore January and February and look at them together. But come on, who wants to wait that long? I need answers now, just like I need a beer now. Giggity.

Debt? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Debt

The Chinese government is trying to boost the economy, but they're worried about racking up debt. They're like me trying to lose weight – lots of talk, not a lot of action. One expert said they see stimulus measures as a "one-time boost" that just makes their debt worse. Sounds about right. It's the economy version of 'Road to Rhode Island'.

China's Fiscal Revenue Is Down Like Joe's Knees

Deflation and the property slump are making things worse. China's fiscal revenue-to-GDP ratio has dropped like Joe Swanson's knees after chasing a suspect for too long. Meanwhile, their public debt-to-GDP ratio is going up. But hey, at least they're not as bad as the US, right? It's like being the least drunk guy at The Drunken Clam. Still not a good look.

The Government's Got a Plan (Maybe?)

Top policymakers are supposed to unveil their economic targets next month. Let's hope they have a better plan than I do when Lois asks me to fix something around the house. The People's Bank of China is saying they'll keep things "appropriately loose" to help the economy. That's what I tell Lois when she asks me to put on pants.