Tesla Fights Back Accusations of False Self-Driving Claims

• Tesla sues California DMV to overturn a ruling that it falsely advertised its self-driving capabilities.
• The lawsuit follows DMV's determination that Tesla engaged in false advertising with "Autopilot" and "Full Self-Driving" claims.
• Tesla now brands its partially automated system as "Full Self-Driving (Supervised)" and offers it on a subscription basis.
• Tesla faces legal challenges and scrutiny over safety concerns related to its autonomous driving technology.

What's Up, Donkey? Tesla vs. The Man (Again)

Alright, folks, Shrek here, reporting live from my swamp – which, surprisingly, has fewer legal battles than Tesla these days. Seems Elon and the gang are having a bit of a tiff with California's Department of Motor Vehicles. They're suing 'em! Why? Because the DMV reckons Tesla was pulling a fast one with their "Autopilot" and "Full Self-Driving" claims. As I always say, "Better out than in,", but Tesla seems to think they've been wrongly accused.

Autopilot? More Like Aut-Oh-No!

So, the DMV basically slapped Tesla with a “false advertiser” label. Ouch. They were all set to give Tesla a time out, potentially suspending their licenses to build and sell cars in sunny California. But then, Tesla cleaned up their act, or at least their marketing spiel, and the DMV backed off the suspension. But hold your horses! Tesla, bless their cotton socks, wants more than just a pat on the head. They want the DMV to retract that nasty label. You know, kinda like how Fiona wanted everyone to forget she was an ogress? Speaking of which, it appears that similar troubles plague other companies as well. Take for instance Novo Nordisk Stock Crash A Family Affair Gone Sour, where a family affair gone sour resulted in serious financial ramifications. Sometimes, appearances can be deceiving, right?

Full Self-Driving (Supervised)? Sounds Like a Babysitting Gig

Now, Tesla's calling their system "Full Self-Driving (Supervised)." Supervised? Sounds like what I do when Donkey tries to "help" with dinner. They're selling it as a subscription now, which is a smart move. Before, they had different tiers – Autopilot, Enhanced Autopilot, the whole shebang – and folks were buying it upfront, expecting their cars to become robotaxis overnight. Elon's been promising robotaxis for ages, like me promising Donkey I won't eat all the parfaits. It's a tough situation when a technological leap becomes just another 'layer' of corporate speak.

The Robotaxi Dream: Are We There Yet?

Speaking of robotaxis, Tesla's testing a few in Austin, Texas. They even unveiled this Cybercab thingy, no steering wheel or pedals! Sounds like a recipe for disaster, if you ask me. Remember that time I tried to bake a cake? Yeah, no steering wheel there either, and it ended up lookin' like somethin' outta the Black Lagoon. Point is, makin' promises is easy, deliverin' 'em? That's the ogre-sized challenge.

Pay Attention, Peasant! (Tesla's Owner's Manual Edition)

Here's the kicker. Tesla's been touting these systems as safe, even showing off on "60 Minutes" with Elon takin' his hands off the wheel. But then you read the owner's manual, and it's all "Pay attention to the road!" So, which is it, Tesla? Are we supposed to trust the tech, or drive like our swamp depends on it? Seems like they wanna have their parfait and eat it too. This begs the question of transparency and trustworthiness, wouldn't you agree?

Class-Action Shrek-tacular: Give Us Our Money Back!

And get this – there's a class-action lawsuit brewin'. Folks who bought "Full Self-Driving" expectin' robotaxi upgrades are now askin' for refunds. Plus, Tesla was held partly liable for a fatal crash involving Autopilot. A driver was fiddlin' with his phone, assumin' the car would brake, and… well, it didn't end well. $243 million verdict. That's a lot of gold coins, even for Rumpelstiltskin. So, Tesla's got a long road ahead. They need to convince the DMV, the customers, and maybe even the Shrek himself that their self-driving tech is more than just a fairytale.