Doc Drops CBS Gig After Epstein Emails Explode Like a Powder Keg

• Dr. Peter Attia resigned from CBS News following the release of his email correspondence with Jeffrey Epstein.
• The emails, revealed amidst ongoing investigations, prompted CBS to pull a "60 Minutes" segment featuring Attia.
• Attia maintains he was not involved in any criminal activity and regrets the embarrassing nature of the emails.
• The incident raises questions about ethical boundaries and media responsibility in the wake of the Epstein scandal.

Kaboom Goes the Career

Well, hello there, citizens of Piltover… and beyond. Jinx here, reporting live from the chaos factory. Seems like some fancy doc named Peter Attia just bounced outta his gig at CBS News. Why, you ask? Oh, just a little thing called *emails* with that Epstein fella. You know, the one who made boom-boom disappear in jail. 'Rules are made to be broken!' - or at least, bent until they snap, eh?

Emails Gone Wild

Apparently, these emails were juicier than a Zz'Rot Portal. The DOJ, in its infinite wisdom, decided to share them with the world. And *poof*, Attia's credibility went up in smoke faster than you can say 'Super Mega Death Rocket!' Attia claims he didn't do anything illegal, but those emails? "Embarrassing, tasteless, and indefensible," he says. Sounds like someone needs a lesson in how to cover their tracks. Or maybe just, you know, *not* email shady people. You know who else are market movers? Read more about it in this article Market Movers Before the Bell Biotech Boom and Airline Blues. Now *that's* what I call a boom.

Blame Game Bonanza

Now, Attia's trying to explain himself, saying he met Epstein through some 'prominent female health leader' while raising funds for science. Always gotta pass the blame, right? He admits he asked Epstein about his *prostitution-related charges* (wow, what an understatement) and claims he was *naive* to believe him. Honestly, if you're hanging out with someone who's got a rap sheet longer than my rap sheet with the Piltovan guards, maybe *you're* the problem.

The Weiss Connection

Here's where things get even messier. Attia was one of the new contributors brought in by this Weiss character. You know, editor-in-chief Bari Weiss. Sounds like she has a nose for news, or a nose for trouble. Either way, it doesn't matter because "I'm crazy, I got a doctors note".

No Island Getaways (allegedly)

Attia's been real quick to point out that he was *never* on Epstein's plane, island, or at any of his *sex parties*. I'm not sure if that makes things better or worse. He even admits to some *crude, tasteless banter* in those emails, but insists it wasn't a reference to anything *dark or harmful*. Sure, doc. Tell me another one.

Lessons from the Mayhem

So, what have we learned, folks? First, don't email shady people, especially if you're a public figure. Second, if you do, make sure you use *powder keg* encryption. Just kidding. Third, the rich and powerful always have secrets, and sometimes, those secrets go *boom*. As for Attia, well, I guess he learned the hard way. "Here comes Jinx!". Maybe he can find a new job testing rocket launchers. I hear that science pays well.