D'oh Dieting Medicare to Cover Obesity Meds, According to Some Smart Guy

• Medicare might start covering obesity treatments, potentially helping millions.
• Novo Nordisk wants to snag 15 million new patients. Mmm, patients.
• Novo's CEO is playing it cool, unlike Lilly who is super excited.
• They need to catch up to Lilly in the weight loss drug market. D'oh.

Mmm, Medicine: Uncle Sam's Gonna Pay for Diet Pills

So, this fancy CEO guy, Mike Doustdar from Novo Nordisk, says that Medicare is gonna start paying for obesity meds. That's like, the government helping people lose weight. Which is great, I guess, if you're not me. I mean, I tried dieting once. Almost gave up beer. Almost. He thinks they can get about 15 million new folks hooked on their stuff. Fifteen million? That's a lot of sprinkles.

Not So Fast, Tubby: Don't Expect Miracles

But here's the thing. This Doustdar dude is all like, "Don't get too excited." He says it's gonna be slow. Like trying to get Bart to do his homework slow. Seems like even if Medicare pays, people might not jump right on the bandwagon. I'm already envisioning those long lines, but maybe a Financial Stability Becomes the Hottest Trend in Town could help people pay for the weight loss, maybe its worth thinking about the bigger picture. Financial experts are saying it could become the hottest trend in town. Who knows?

Lilly's Got a Bigger Slice of the Donut

Now, there's this other company called Eli Lilly. They're like the Flanders to Novo's Simpson. Always doing better. Turns out, Lilly has a bigger piece of the obesity drug pie. Or donut, in my case. Doustdar's company, Novo, needs to catch up. It's like me trying to catch up to a free donut. It ain't easy, but I gotta try. They need to close that market share gap, D'oh.

The Pill is Mightier Than the Needle? Maybe...

So how are they gonna do it? Well, they got this new pill, Wegovy. Doustdar says it's better than Lilly's upcoming pill. It's like saying Duff Beer is better than…water. Apparently, their pill makes people lose more weight, like 40% more, according to their numbers. I'd lose 40% of my weight if I just stopped eating donuts. But where's the fun in that?

Upping the Dose: More Medicine, More Weight Loss

But wait, there's more. They're also coming out with a stronger version of their Wegovy shot. It's supposed to be just as good as Lilly's Zepbound, which is apparently the cool new thing everyone's using. It's like everyone suddenly wants a salad instead of a Krusty Burger. Weird. This new, stronger shot will hopefully convince people that Novo is just as good.

Mmm, Similar Efficacy

Doustdar is hoping that when people see these two drugs are basically the same, they'll go back to Novo. Or maybe they'll just stick with Lilly. Who knows? All I know is, I'm hungry. And this whole weight loss thing is making me nervous. I need a donut. And maybe a beer. And definitely not any of that fancy medicine.