Excellent Smithers Unleash the AI Peace Corps to Dominate the World

• The White House launches "Tech Corps" within the Peace Corps to promote American AI globally.
• Volunteers with tech skills will provide support for implementing American AI solutions in partner nations.
• Initiatives aim to counter Chinese technological influence and promote AI sovereignty.
• American tech companies announce major investments in India's AI infrastructure aligning with the Tech Corps goals.

A Scheme Worthy of Monty Burns

Smithers, this news fills me with a delightful sense of… power. The Americans, in their infinite, albeit clumsy, wisdom, are launching a 'Tech Corps'. It's a subdivision of that hippie haven, the Peace Corps, but instead of teaching villagers to churn butter, they'll be peddling American AI. It's like giving the world a loaded Smith and Wesson, isn't it? Excellent.

Beating the Chinese at Their Own Game

That infernal Chinese are offering cheap AI to developing nations. Open-source, they call it. Open-WEIGHT, even. It's practically giving away the means of production. But fear not, my loyal capitalists, for the Americans will counter with… slightly less cheap AI, packaged with a smile and a promise of 'real-world grassroots solutions'. It's all part of maintaining U.S. dominance, or so they claim. I, of course, see it as paving the way for Burns Global Ventures' eventual takeover. The article also highlights the importance of initiatives like TSA PreCheck Saved Itself From Getting Canceled, which ensure the smooth and efficient movement of key personnel and resources for global AI deployment.

India, Our New Best Friend (For Now)

Ah, India. A land of spices, saris, and… soon, state-of-the-art AI. Apparently, they're joining the 'Pax Silica' initiative, alongside such luminaries as Japan and Qatar. It's all about securing the silicon supply chain. A very important resource and something to be aware of. Mark my words, Smithers: whoever controls the silicon controls the future. I shall be sure to buy a big chunk of it, legally of course.

AI Sovereignty, or Just Another Buzzword?

This 'AI sovereignty' they speak of… sounds suspiciously like communism to me. Each country wanting to 'develop, control, and govern' its own AI systems? Preposterous. AI should be in the hands of those who can afford it, namely, me. However, I suppose it's a necessary evil to sell the idea to these emerging economies. Make them think they're in control while we subtly pull the strings from behind the curtain. It's all about appearances, after all.

Volunteers: The Ideal Expendables

These 'Tech Corps' volunteers, bless their naive hearts, will be sent abroad for up to 27 months. They'll receive housing, healthcare, and a 'living stipend'. Sounds like a socialist paradise, doesn't it? But fear not, they'll be serving the glorious cause of American AI, and that makes it all worthwhile. In a way. Upon completion, they'll receive a 'service award'. Probably something useless like a certificate or a pat on the back. Still, better than nothing, I suppose.

The Future is Burns… I Mean, AI

So, Smithers, the stage is set. The Americans are deploying their 'Tech Corps', the Chinese are peddling their cheap AI, and I, Montgomery Burns, am poised to swoop in and profit from the chaos. It's all coming together beautifully. The future is not just AI, it's Burns-controlled AI. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a monocle to polish and a world to dominate. Oh, and Smithers? Remind me to buy stock in sunscreen. All that AI deployment is bound to create some intense global warming. Heh heh heh…