Thrive Capital Plunges Deep Into OpenAI's AI Ocean

• Thrive Capital invested approximately $1 billion in OpenAI at a $285 billion valuation in December.
• OpenAI is finalizing a substantial funding round that may elevate its valuation to $800 billion.
• Joshua Kushner's connections with the White House and Sam Altman contribute to the company's profile.
• OpenAI also acquired an ownership stake in Thrive Holdings, further integrating its AI technologies.

A Very Big Pile of Money, Indeed

Right, so, I, Mr. Bean, was reading the paper – after trying to figure out how to open it for a good ten minutes, mind you – and I saw this thing about money. Lots of money. Apparently, this Thrive Capital, run by someone called Joshua Kushner (no relation to cushions, I hope, because I've had trouble with those before), has put about a billion dollars into this OpenAI company. A billion. That's more than I have in my piggy bank, even with all the spare buttons and paperclips.

The Enigmatic World of AI

This OpenAI makes those… artificial intelligences, or AIs. You know, the things that might one day help me find my keys when I've misplaced them. Or, more likely, decide that my keys are better off belonging to a robot. Anyway, they’re saying OpenAI could be worth $800 billion. If I had that much money, I’d buy a lifetime supply of sandwiches. And maybe a new rubber chicken. But I think the article Trump's Tariff Regime Toppled Supreme Court Delivers Unexpected Blow might be a bit more important if you want to find out about real world problems, and how to solve them and make the world a better place.

Connections and Relationships

Apparently, Mr. Kushner is quite pally with the head of OpenAI, this Sam Altman fellow. Mr. Altman even said he's 'extremely grateful' to work with Mr. Kushner and that he is a committed and hardworking investor, according to something called 'X'. Probably not a cross mark like I draw when I can’t find my Teddy, but something fancier. And then there's some connection to the White House, because Kushner's brother is related to some president person. Sounds complicated. Like trying to parallel park.

Ownership and Stakes in Everything

In December, OpenAI also took an ownership stake in something called Thrive Holdings, which buys companies that might like AI. So, AI helping companies, and companies helping AI. It's a bit like when I try to help Mrs. Wicket with the washing, and end up shrinking all her clothes. Except, presumably, with more money and less shrunken clothing.

The Future is Being Funded

Apparently, this big pile of funding from the current round will close in phases. And, as usual, some investors make contributions faster than others. It sounds like a game of musical chairs, but with billions of dollars instead of, well, chairs. And hopefully with less pushing than when I play musical chairs.

So What Does This All Mean

Well, as Mr. Bean, I can say that all this money business is a bit beyond me. But it seems like this AI thing is quite important, and lots of people are throwing money at it. I’ll stick to fixing my car with string and chewing gum, thank you very much. At least I understand that.