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Eric Cartman

reporting the latest news globally

Showing 71 to 80 of 107 news articles

Debris from Iranian strikes litter the Gulf, underscoring the severe consequences of the attacks. image

Iran's Gulf Strikes Create Huge Trust Gap Says Cartman

Tue 10 March, 2026 09:56
3 minutes to read

Eric Cartman investigates the financial markets, probably for his own benefit. image

Cartman's Eye View: Why Your Investments Are Probably Screwed, Dude

Sun 08 March, 2026 12:52
3 minutes to read

Global automakers brace for impact as Middle East conflict disrupts sales and supply chains. image

Iran War Shakes Up Car Sales Toyota Hyundai and Chery Face Fallout

Fri 06 March, 2026 17:48
2 minutes to read

Kristi Noem gets the boot from Trump Tower, leaving the DHS in a state worse than Kenny after a field trip. image

Trump Dumps Noem Like Yesterday's TV Dinner

Thu 05 March, 2026 22:11
3 minutes to read

Oil tanker navigating the Strait of Hormuz, a critical chokepoint for global oil supplies. image

Crude Oil Prices Soar, Iran Conflict Fuels Global Fuel Supply Chaos

Thu 05 March, 2026 22:08
2 minutes to read

Oil tankers relaxing now that Trump's gonna protect them. Respect my authoritah. image

Oil Prices Drop Like My Allowance After Iran War

Wed 04 March, 2026 16:00
3 minutes to read

CrowdStrike CEO George Kurtz, seen here probably thinking about how awesome CrowdStrike is, and how much they are winning. image

CrowdStrike Dominates Cybersecurity Like Cartman Rules South Park

Wed 04 March, 2026 00:34
2 minutes to read

On Holding expects slower sales growth than previously anticipated, causing stock dips. image

On Holding's Sneaker Sales Slowdown? Respect My Authoritah

Tue 03 March, 2026 14:17
3 minutes to read

Oil tankers avoiding the Strait of Hormuz, probably because they're all a bunch of whiny babies. image

Screw You Guys, I'm Disrupting Global Oil Markets

Tue 03 March, 2026 11:11
3 minutes to read

Dividend stocks are performing strongly, offering investors stable income and perceived safety amidst market volatility and concerns about AI disruption and stagflation. image

Screw You Guys I'm Getting Dividends The Aristocrats of Cash

Mon 02 March, 2026 20:29
3 minutes to read