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Eric Cartman

reporting the latest news globally

Showing 31 to 40 of 122 news articles

Gold bars stacked, representing the potential surge in gold prices predicted by Wells Fargo Securities due to ongoing economic debasement cycles. I WANT MY GOLD! image

Gold to $8000 An Ounce by 2027 According to Wells Fargo Securities

Thu 16 April, 2026 20:01
3 minutes to read

IMF warns of potential economic strain as global defense spending increases. image

Guns Versus Butter The IMF's Stark Warning

Thu 16 April, 2026 11:03
3 minutes to read

Senator Martin Heinrich questions the Trump administration's readiness for the energy crisis stemming from the conflict with Iran. image

Trump's Iran War Fuels Energy Market Mayhem

Wed 15 April, 2026 12:00
2 minutes to read

Morgan Stanley headquarters in New York City. The firm's Q1 performance exceeded expectations due to strong trading and strategic decisions. image

Morgan Stanley's First Quarter Scores Bigly

Wed 15 April, 2026 13:24
2 minutes to read

U.S. Navy enforces blockade in the Strait of Hormuz amid stalled U.S.-Iran negotiations. image

U.S. Blockade of Strait of Hormuz Could Trigger Global Recession

Wed 15 April, 2026 01:21
2 minutes to read

Oil prices dropping faster than Kenny McCormick in a crowded room. Respect my authoritah. image

Iran Talks Send Oil Prices Tanking Respect My Authoritah

Tue 14 April, 2026 19:14
2 minutes to read

Zuckerberg and Tan plot world domination through AI chips. Screw you guys, I'm going home... to plan my own AI takeover. image

Meta and Broadcom Mega-Deal Fuels AI Domination Plot

Tue 14 April, 2026 22:32
2 minutes to read

A cargo ship navigates the Strait of Hormuz prior to US blockade. image

U.S. Blockade of Iranian Ports A Dangerous and Irresponsible Act Says China

Tue 14 April, 2026 09:29
3 minutes to read

OpenAI's new London office, probably filled with a bunch of nerds trying to steal my ideas. image

OpenAI Dumps U.S., Sets Up Shop in London, Respect My Authoritah

Mon 13 April, 2026 09:03
3 minutes to read

Delegations from Iran and the U.S. arrive in Pakistan for crucial war talks amid ongoing tensions. image

Iran-US War Talks Loom as Cartman Demands Respect

Sat 11 April, 2026 07:49
2 minutes to read