Eric Cartman - HeadlinesA Latest News

Light
Dark

Eric Cartman

reporting the latest news globally

Showing 21 to 30 of 107 news articles

Oil prices dropping faster than Kenny McCormick in a crowded room. Respect my authoritah. image

Iran Talks Send Oil Prices Tanking Respect My Authoritah

Tue 14 April, 2026 19:14
2 minutes to read

Zuckerberg and Tan plot world domination through AI chips. Screw you guys, I'm going home... to plan my own AI takeover. image

Meta and Broadcom Mega-Deal Fuels AI Domination Plot

Tue 14 April, 2026 22:32
2 minutes to read

A cargo ship navigates the Strait of Hormuz prior to US blockade. image

U.S. Blockade of Iranian Ports A Dangerous and Irresponsible Act Says China

Tue 14 April, 2026 09:29
3 minutes to read

OpenAI's new London office, probably filled with a bunch of nerds trying to steal my ideas. image

OpenAI Dumps U.S., Sets Up Shop in London, Respect My Authoritah

Mon 13 April, 2026 09:03
3 minutes to read

Delegations from Iran and the U.S. arrive in Pakistan for crucial war talks amid ongoing tensions. image

Iran-US War Talks Loom as Cartman Demands Respect

Sat 11 April, 2026 07:49
2 minutes to read

xAI's planned power plant in Mississippi faces legal challenges from environmental groups, who are basically a bunch of hippies trying to ruin everything. image

Elon Musk's xAI Faces Mississippi Mayhem

Fri 10 April, 2026 23:05
2 minutes to read

Elbit Systems stock performance in 2026 showcasing a significant year-to-date increase. image

Elbit Systems Stock Soars To New Heights

Fri 10 April, 2026 15:15
3 minutes to read

President Trump addressing Iran's actions in the Strait of Hormuz. image

Trump Tells Iran to Knock it Off Over Strait Fees

Thu 09 April, 2026 22:41
2 minutes to read

Lindsey Vonn contemplates an ambitious return to the Olympics after recovering from a severe crash. image

Lindsey Vonn Considers Shocking 2030 Olympic Comeback

Thu 09 April, 2026 10:30
2 minutes to read

Eric Cartman giving his expert stock market analysis, because who knows better than Cartman image

Cartman's Eye View Airlines, Booze and China Tech Stocks

Tue 07 April, 2026 23:22
2 minutes to read