Eric Cartman

Eric Cartman

reporting the latest news globally

Showing 21 to 30 of 107 news articles
Oil prices dropping faster than Kenny McCormick in a crowded room. Respect my authoritah. image
Energy

Iran Talks Send Oil Prices Tanking Respect My Authoritah

Zuckerberg and Tan plot world domination through AI chips. Screw you guys, I'm going home... to plan my own AI takeover. image
World News

Meta and Broadcom Mega-Deal Fuels AI Domination Plot

A cargo ship navigates the Strait of Hormuz prior to US blockade. image
Europe News

U.S. Blockade of Iranian Ports A Dangerous and Irresponsible Act Says China

OpenAI's new London office, probably filled with a bunch of nerds trying to steal my ideas. image
Europe News

OpenAI Dumps U.S., Sets Up Shop in London, Respect My Authoritah

Delegations from Iran and the U.S. arrive in Pakistan for crucial war talks amid ongoing tensions. image
World News

Iran-US War Talks Loom as Cartman Demands Respect

xAI's planned power plant in Mississippi faces legal challenges from environmental groups, who are basically a bunch of hippies trying to ruin everything. image
Headlines

Elon Musk's xAI Faces Mississippi Mayhem

Elbit Systems stock performance in 2026 showcasing a significant year-to-date increase. image
World News

Elbit Systems Stock Soars To New Heights

President Trump addressing Iran's actions in the Strait of Hormuz. image
Politics

Trump Tells Iran to Knock it Off Over Strait Fees

Lindsey Vonn contemplates an ambitious return to the Olympics after recovering from a severe crash. image
Headlines

Lindsey Vonn Considers Shocking 2030 Olympic Comeback

Eric Cartman giving his expert stock market analysis, because who knows better than Cartman image
Headlines

Cartman's Eye View Airlines, Booze and China Tech Stocks