Lutnick Under Scrutiny Epstein Ties Intensify

• Rep. Nancy Mace calls for Howard Lutnick to testify before the House Oversight Committee regarding his ties to Jeffrey Epstein.
• Documents reveal Lutnick's continued association with Epstein beyond his previously claimed cutoff in 2005, including a visit to Epstein's island in 2012.
• Lawmakers express confidence in securing enough votes to subpoena Lutnick for testimony.
• The Justice Department faces scrutiny for temporarily removing, then restoring, a photo potentially showing Lutnick with Epstein from its public database.

Bloody Hell, Another Fine Mess

Right, so I'm hearing about this Howard Lutnick character and his little rendezvous with that absolute monster, Epstein. Honestly, some people's choices are drier than overcooked chicken. Nancy Mace is demanding answers, and frankly, so am I. What's the story here? Was the food any good at least? Because if you're going to associate with the devil, you better get a decent meal out of it.

Island Lunches and Dodgy Documents

A lunch date on Epstein's island in 2012? Seriously? And the DOJ conveniently misplacing photos? It's like trying to find a perfectly ripe avocado – bloody impossible. Now US and Canadian Airlines Suspend Flights Amid Mexican Cartel Violence, I saw that headline recently too, so that is a scandal as well. This Lutnick bloke claimed he cut ties in 2005. Liar, liar, pants on fire. Someone get the truth serum and let's grill this donut! We need answers, and we need them now.

The Truth Sandwich is Served

Mace wants him to testify. Ro Khanna thinks they've got the votes. Good. Let's drag this situation out of the darkness and into the light, like pulling a perfectly cooked soufflé from the oven. This isn't about politics; it's about accountability. Epstein's dead, but the stench of his crimes lingers. It's time to clean house and expose these questionable associations.

Clinton's Close Call

Bill and Hillary Clinton being questioned? They are taking the heat I see. Hillary said she doesn't recall meeting Epstein. Right. And I don't recall ever shouting at a contestant on Hell's Kitchen. Pull the other one. This whole situation is messier than a badly made risotto. Someone needs to get their act together, pronto.

Where's the Sauce?

This Trump also had ties with Epstein, says he is cleared of any wrong doing. Well well well. It is like the whole world is a terrible sous vide that went horribly wrong, and now it's all boiled and dried, and the meat has lost all of its flavor.

Time to Plate the Truth

Look, I'm a chef, not a politician. But I know a dodgy dish when I see one. This whole Epstein saga is a rancid stew. Howard Lutnick needs to step up, tell the truth, and face the music. And the DOJ needs to explain why it's playing hide-and-seek with evidence. It is all a bit of a cock up, really.