Goldman Sachs Warns Stock Market Correction Could Derail US Economy

• Goldman Sachs forecasts a 2.5% US economic expansion in 2026, but warns a stock market correction could reduce this growth.
• A 10% stock pullback could lower GDP forecast by 0.5 percentage points, while a 20% drop could shave off nearly a full percentage point.
• The "wealth effect," where rising asset values boost consumer spending, is vulnerable to stock market declines, especially among high-income households.
• Midterm election years historically see significant stock market volatility, exacerbating the risk of a correction.

Economic Forecast? More Like Economic Fore-Mess

Alright, Morty, listen up. I'm Ri-i-ick Sanchez, and I'm telling you, these so-called 'economists' are about as reliable as a fart in a spacesuit. Goldman Sachs, huh? They're saying the U.S. economy might actually grow by 2.5% in 2026. Oh geez, Rick, is that good? Shut up Morty. But here's the kicker: they think a stock market dip could screw it all up. It's like they just discovered gravity. I could've told them that after a few bottles of Squanchy's Screaming Szechuan Sauce.

The Wealth Effect is a Load of Barnacles

Apparently, there's this thing called the 'wealth effect.' Yeah, it's as dumb as it sounds, Morty. Basically, if rich people see their stocks go up, they spend more. Groundbreaking stuff, right? But what happens when the market tanks? They clutch their pearls and hoard their money like Smaug. Goldman Sachs actually seems to be suggesting that a downturn in the equity market would affect the "wealth effect", something that would drag consumption down. The primary risk lies in the damage a correction would inflict on the so-called " wealth effect ," the idea that households that hold a lot of stocks and real estate feel financially secure and willing to spend when the value of those assets rise. Speaking of things going down, you know what else is going down? My tolerance for this garbage! Hey, speaking of downturns, you hear about that time someone tried to invade Mar-a-Lago? They got neutralized, shotgun and gas canister style. Real serious business. You can read all about it here: Mar-a-Lago Intruder Neutralized Shotgun and Gas Canister Incident. It's always something, Morty.

K-Shaped Economy? More Like K-rap

Now, they're babbling about a 'K-shaped' economy. Fancy way of saying the rich are doing great, and the poor are screwed. Surprise, surprise. The top 10% are propping up the whole shebang. It's like balancing a galactic federation on a toothpick. So, if the stock market craps out, guess who feels it first? Not the yacht-buying crowd, Morty. It's the folks struggling to buy freakin' groceries.

Midterm Mayhem: Buckle Up, Buttercups

Oh, and get this: midterm election years are apparently volatile for the stock market. Shocker. It's like the universe is designed to maximize chaos. Historically, they've seen some pretty hefty declines. So, if you're invested in the market, prepare for a bumpy ride. Or better yet, sell everything and buy a portal gun. Way more practical.

What Really Matters, According to Rick Sanchez

Here's the real takeaway, Morty: the system is rigged. The economy is a house of cards built on the whims of the wealthy. And these 'experts' are just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. So, what should you do? Educate yourself, question everything, and maybe invest in some plumbus futures. Or, you know, just keep watching interdimensional cable. Ignorance is bliss, Morty. Bliss.

Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub, I'm Out

Alright, I'm done with this economic mumbo jumbo. I got universes to explore, Cronenbergs to avoid, and Szechuan sauce to find. Remember, Morty, 'Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's gonna die.' So, don't sweat the small stuff. Like the entire global economy. Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub.