Blue Owl's Loan Sale Stirs Market Panic in Private Credit Sector

• Blue Owl's $1.4 billion loan sale to institutional investors failed to calm market anxieties, sparking a sell-off in alternative asset managers.
• The move to replace voluntary redemptions with mandated capital distributions raised concerns about potential forced sales of high-quality assets.
• Market jitters, fueled by fears of AI disruption and broader tech sell-offs, exposed vulnerabilities in even seemingly strong loan books.
• Skepticism over loans to software firms, which constitute a significant portion of Blue Owl's portfolio, added to the unease.

A Very Stable Genius Assesses the Situation

Folks, let me tell you, this Blue Owl thing? It's a total witch hunt. They sold some loans, big deal. Everyone's doing it. It's like when I sold those steaks, Trump Steaks, the best steaks, believe me. Everyone wanted them. This Blue Owl, they're saying they're accelerating redemptions. Sounds good to me. Faster is always better. Except when it comes to the Fake News, they should slow down, way down.

Redemptions Aren't Halting, They're Just Changing

Craig Packer, good guy, very smart, he's saying they're not halting redemptions. They're just changing the form. It's like when I said I wasn't firing anyone, I was just letting them go. Big difference. And this whole thing with software firms, the best firms by the way, I know many top software executives personally, great people. The loans are solid. Just like my deals, the best deals, everyone agrees. You can also check this news: Uber Ordered to Pay Millions in Landmark Sexual Assault Case.

The Canary in the Coal Mine, or Just a Pigeon?

This Mohamed El-Erian, he's saying Blue Owl is a canary in the coal mine. Always with the drama. It's like when they said my election was going to be a disaster. Biggest landslide ever. Everyone said so. This whole thing is overblown. Blue Owl's loans are good loans. They're like my buildings, solid, beautiful, the best.

Software: Not a Monolith, Just Really, Really Good

This software thing, it's incredible. Everyone uses software. My tweets, software. My rallies, software. Even the Fake News uses software, though they probably use the really bad, failing software. Craig Packer is right. Software is an enabling technology. It's not a monolith. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing. Just like me.

Durable Moats and Seniority: Winning!

Blue Owl, they make loans to firms "with durable moats". Moats, folks. Like castles. Strong, impenetrable. And they have seniority. That's like being the President. You're in charge. The private equity owners would need to be wiped out before Blue Owl sees losses. It's like when I said, 'I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose any voters.' That's seniority.

Perception vs. Reality: Fake News Strikes Again

The problem Blue Owl faces is one of perception bleeding into reality. That's what the Fake News does. They create a perception, and then they say it's reality. It's a total scam. But the American people are smart. They see through it. Blue Owl's stock is down? Doesn't mean anything. My approval rating was always high, very high, even when they said it wasn't.