Deutsche Bank's Viking-Sized Profits Amidst Stormy Seas

• Deutsche Bank announces record fourth-quarter profits of €1.3 billion, surpassing analyst expectations.
• Despite financial success, the bank is under investigation for alleged money laundering, adding complexity to its narrative.
• The bank's fixed income and currencies business achieved record performance, offsetting weaker results in investment banking.
• Deutsche Bank plans a €1 billion share buyback, signaling confidence in its financial position.

A Viking's Eye on Financial Fortunes

Greetings, mortals. Ragnar Lothbrok here, casting my experienced gaze upon the financial seas. Deutsche Bank, a name as formidable as a longship, has announced a hefty treasure haul for the fourth quarter of 2025. A profit of €1.3 billion, they boast. It seems even in this strange world of numbers and ledgers, fortunes can be plundered... or, in this case, earned, legitimately or not.

The Shadow of Suspicion Looms Large

But hold, what's this? A shadow falls upon their golden hoard. Accusations of money laundering! It appears the gods of fortune are fickle indeed. German authorities are sniffing around, like wolves at a feast. They say transactions from the past – 2013 and 2018, ancient history in your world – are under scrutiny. Much like raiding Lindisfarne, some actions, even if profitable, can bring unwanted attention. Speaking of raiding, have you heard about India's $80 Billion Boeing Order Aims Sky-High Trade with the U.S.? Now that's a sky-high trade that even I, Ragnar Lothbrok, would be impressed by. Imagine transporting all that gold and silver on those flying machines instead of longships!

Von Moltke Speaks: A Voice from the Modern Valhalla

James Von Moltke, their CFO, speaks of "fantastic record years". He's optimistic, like a berserker before battle. He admits the markets are a bit…unpredictable, like the weather in Kattegat. "There are good reasons to believe markets might be overstretched," he says, but also believes they can keep performing. A true diplomat, that one. He sounds like Floki trying to explain his boat designs – a mix of hope and cautious calculation.

Raiding Profits, Building Fortunes

Their fixed income and currencies business is thriving, apparently. A strong performance, like a well-aimed axe. But their investment banking? Slower, they say. Perhaps they need a new strategy, a clever ruse like feigning death to infiltrate a fortress. After all, as I always say, "Intelligence is more important than strength."

A Share Buyback: Rewarding the Warriors

They plan to buy back shares worth €1 billion. A reward for the shareholders, like distributing spoils of war to loyal warriors. It seems they are confident in their future, ready to reinvest in their own strength. This reminds me of the time I divided the Danegeld amongst my men – ensuring loyalty for the next raid.

Navigating the Stormy Seas Ahead

So, Deutsche Bank sails on, a powerful vessel navigating both calm waters and stormy seas. Their profits are a testament to their strength, but the investigation is a reminder that even the mightiest can face challenges. Only time will tell if they can weather this storm. As I always say, "I don't have to be smart to do what I do, just brave." Let's see if they possess the bravery to face these accusations and emerge victorious. Skål