Blue Owl's Private Debt Shuffle: A Very Stable Genius's Take

• Blue Owl Capital sold $1.4 billion in loan assets across three private debt funds.
• OBDC II will transition from regular quarterly liquidity payments to periodic payouts.
• The sale proceeds will be used to pay down debt and return capital to OBDC II shareholders.
• Blue Owl emphasizes the quality and valuations of its software investments, even if some people say otherwise.

The Art of the Deal: Blue Owl's Masterstroke

Let me tell you, this Blue Owl thing? Very interesting. They sold $1.4 billion in assets. Big numbers, the best numbers. Some are saying it's not good, the fake news, but frankly, it's all about making the best deals. Like when I made deals, nobody could believe it. This is just like that – a strategic move. Very smart people involved, believe me. They are saying it is one of the best deals ever.

OBDC II: From Regular to 'Periodic' – It's More Flexible, Folks

So, they are changing how OBDC II does things. Instead of regular payments, they're going periodic. It's like building a wall. You don't just throw bricks, you do it strategically. It's about adapting, being flexible, and making sure the fund is strong. You know who else is strong? Me. And this fund will be, too. If you are looking for another strong and delicious fund check out this Birria Bonanza Mike's Red Tacos Eyes Nationwide Conquest.

Liquidity and Transparency: Believe Me, We're on It

Some people are saying private markets aren't liquid enough. Fake news. We're making them more liquid, more transparent. It's like draining the swamp, but for finance. We are doing it so well, it's incredible. Everyone agrees, even the haters. Because at the end of the day, everybody loves a good deal. And nobody makes better deals than we do.

The Merger That Wasn't: Sometimes, You Walk Away

The merger? Didn't happen. Sometimes you have to walk away. It's like with North Korea. I walked away. It's about having leverage, knowing when to say no, and being the best negotiator. And I am, by far, the best negotiator. Believe me. Now, Blue Owl will pay down debt and return capital. A win-win, folks.

Software Investments: They're Great, Really Great

They say the biggest industry is internet software. Sounds good to me. It's the future. We're investing in it. Very smart. These investments are great, the valuations are great, everything is great. Some say they aren't, but those people are losers. We only deal with winners, the best. And these investments? The best.

Delivering Value: It's What We Do

They are delivering value to shareholders. That's what it's all about. Making money, making deals, and making America great again. It's a great time to be alive, folks. Believe me. And these deals, these investments, they're going to make it even better. We will continue to drain the swamp.