D'oh-plomacy Stalls Iran Nuclear Talks Drag On

• US-Iran talks extend without a breakthrough, focusing on sanctions and nuclear steps.
• Oman mediates, with plans to meet US officials amidst rising tensions.
• Trump demands Iran verifiably abandon nuclear weapons program
• Analysts warn of military clash risks and oil price volatility in the region

Negotiations, Donuts, and Dead Ends

Marge, these Iran talks are going nowhere faster than I can eat a box of donuts. They're saying there's been "progress," but it's like when I promise to go on a diet – sounds good, but then… donuts. Seems like the U.S. and Iran are still arguing over, well, everything. The U.S. wants Iran to dismantle their nuclear sites, and Iran wants those pesky sanctions gone. It's a real pickle, Marge, a real pickle.

Oman's Wild Ride to Washington

This Oman guy, Badr Al Busaidi, sounds like a real diplomat, trying to keep these two apart. He's off to Washington to chat with the big shots, including Vice President JD Vance. Remember that time I tried to be a diplomat, Marge? I ended up starting an international incident with a karaoke machine. These talks are like trying to herd cats, especially when there's so much at stake. Speaking of which, you know what's also hard to control? Bart and Lisa, those little devils. Oh, and did I mention that the AI Giants Clash Accusations of Model Theft Rock the Industry? Maybe they should send in some robots to negotiate, they can't be any worse than world leaders, can they?

Trump's 'Secret Words' and Empty Promises

President Trump wants to hear those "secret words" from Iran – you know, "We will never have a nuclear weapon." It's like me promising to stop drinking beer. I say it, but deep down… Mmm, beer. He's got a point, though. Nobody wants Iran to go all nuclear on us. But waving a big stick and yelling isn't exactly the best way to make friends. Remember when I tried to solve that argument with Ned Flanders by yelling louder? Didn't work out so well.

Military Might and Middle East Mayhem

So, the U.S. has parked a whole lotta military hardware in the Middle East, just in case. Trump's saying "bad things" will happen if Iran doesn't play ball. Sounds like Moe threatening to kick Barney out of the bar again. Analysts are warning of a possible military clash, which would be worse than when Bart replaces the sugar with salt. It's a powder keg, Marge, a powder keg, and if it blows, everyone's gonna get singed. "I'm never gonna be good at anything."

Rubio's Roadblocks and Ballistic Missiles

Secretary of State Marco Rubio is worried about Iran's missile program. Seems they're not too keen on discussing it, which is like when I try to avoid talking about my weight. Iran says they need uranium enrichment for energy, which I guess is like saying I need donuts for… energy. But the U.S. wants them to stop supporting armed groups and stop being mean to their own protestors. Seems like a lot to ask, even for a Sunday morning.

Oil Prices and OPEC Shenanigans

All this tension is messing with the oil prices, Marge. Traders are sweating bullets, wondering if the U.S. and Iran are going to start throwing bombs, which would make gas prices skyrocket faster than Bart on a sugar rush. These OPEC guys are meeting to decide on oil output, which is like me trying to decide whether to have one donut or a dozen. It's all a big gamble, and the only thing that's certain is that someone's gonna get screwed. Doh'