Equinox's $40,000 Gym: Is it Worth More Than My Mini?

• Equinox's $40,000 annual membership boasts a massive waiting list, reflecting high demand for luxury wellness programs.
• The "Optimize by Equinox" program includes personalized training, nutrition, sleep coaching, and health concierge services.
• Equinox is expanding into hotels, personalized performance programs, and IV centers to capitalize on the growing wellness market, projected to reach $10 trillion by 2030.
• The company's chairman highlights that health is the new luxury, with wealthy individuals driving the demand for longevity and wellness products.

The Golden Carrot: A $40,000 Gym Membership

Right, so I heard about this gym, Equinox, charging forty thousand of your finest dollars per year. That’s more than I paid for my Mini. And there's a waiting list longer than the queue for a free Teddy bear. Forty thousand for exercise? Blimey. I could buy a lifetime supply of baked beans for that. But apparently, it’s not just about treadmills. It's the whole shebang – personal trainers, nutritionists, sleep coaches. A health concierge, no less. Sounds like they practically tuck you in at night.

Health is the New Luxury? Good Heavens

Mr. Harvey Spevak, the big cheese at Equinox, says that "health is the new luxury". I suppose he’s right. You know, I once tried to make my own luxury by painting my Mini gold. Didn’t quite have the same effect. Anyway, seems the wealthy are after living longer and feeling fabulous, and are willing to pay a king's ransom for it. Perhaps I should start charging people to watch me paint. Speaking of new trends and wealth you should check out Reddit's Triumph A Witcher's Perspective on Stocks and Scrolls to keep up to date with new and exciting money making opportunities.

Equinox Empire: From Treadmills to Hotels

Equinox isn’t just pumping iron, it's building an empire. Hotels, IV drips, blood tests. They’re even opening a hotel in Saudi Arabia. Fancy. I remember when my big expansion was adding a new bolt to my Mini. They've got plans for more clubs too, all over the place. Nashville, Toronto, even South Florida. All this when my idea of expansion involves squeezing more things into my flat. I must be doing something wrong.

Biomarkers and Wearables: Sounds Like a Sci-Fi Film

Now, this is where it gets a bit too technical for my liking. They’re testing for 100 biomarkers twice a year. Biomarkers? Sounds like something from a sci-fi film. They use these tests to tailor a fitness program just for you. And they have something called EQX ARC for women. It uses diagnostics and wearables. Wearables? I've got a watch, does that count? Still, sounds like they're throwing all sorts of science at staying young. It's quite impressive, even if I don't understand half of it.

Seven-Figure Drips and Record Years: Money, Money, Money

Apparently, their IV-drip lounge is a “seven-figure business”. Seven figures just for drips. That's enough to buy a fleet of Minis. And 2025 was a “record year” for them. They’re swimming in dough. I remember when I had a record year – that was when I managed to successfully make a sandwich without dropping any fillings. It's all relative, I suppose.

Consumer Companies Want a Slice of the Bean Cake

Other companies are lining up to partner with Equinox. Everyone wants a piece of the health and wellness pie, or in my case, the bean cake. Mr. Spevak says they are the brand with the authority. I wonder if they need someone to test out their facilities? I'm quite good at unintentionally breaking things and creating chaos. It could be a niche market for them.