Tesla Ditches Model S and X for Robot Uprising Quagmire Reports

• Tesla discontinues Model S and X production to focus on Optimus robots.
• Fremont factory repurposed for a 1 million unit Optimus production line.
• Tesla aims to revolutionize automation with humanoid robots for various tasks.
• Musk shifts focus from traditional EVs to driverless cars and humanoid robots.

Giggity No More Model S and X

Well hello there, internet surfers. It's your favorite horndog, Glen Quagmire, here to give you the lowdown on some shocking news from the world of electric cars. Apparently, Elon Musk, that mad genius with more money than I've had dates, has decided to pull the plug on Tesla's Model S and X. That's right, those sleek, sexy vehicles that cost more than my entire apartment building are going the way of the dodo. Giggity.

Optimus Prime Ribs

But hold on to your hats, folks, because the reason for this automotive euthanasia is even crazier than that time I tried to build a rocket to the moon out of beer cans. Musk wants to use the Fremont factory to build…wait for it…humanoid robots. Yup, those metal fellas straight out of a sci-fi flick. He calls them Optimus, and apparently, they're going to be doing everything from factory work to babysitting. I can only imagine the possibilities. Speaking of which, you should check out Alphabet's AI Gamble Pays Off Big Time Investors Rejoice to see how others are investing in the future of technology. Giggity giggity goo.

A Million Bots Ready to Roll

Musk is planning a production line capable of churning out a million of these Optimus bots every year. A million. That's more robots than I've had…well, let's just say it's a lot. And get this, the supply chain for these robots is completely new. "There's really nothing from the existing supply chain that exists in Optimus," Musk said. It's like he's building an entirely new company within Tesla. Giggity giggity.

More Jobs for the Boys

But here's the kicker: Musk says Tesla expects to boost headcount at the Fremont facility and significantly increase output. So, while some cars are being retired, new jobs are on the horizon. Looks like the future isn't just electric, it's also robotic…and potentially employed. Who knew? It is going to be a sweet opportunity for people to earn their bread and butter. Giggity.

Saying Goodbye to Luxury Cars

Alright, so what does this all mean? Well, for starters, if you've been dreaming of owning a Model S or X, now's your chance to snag one before they're gone forever. Think of them as collector's items, future museum pieces…or just really expensive paperweights. Who am I kidding? You can't go wrong with them. But if you're more into the idea of having a robot butler, then maybe it's time to invest in some Tesla stock. Either way, it's a bold move by Musk, and only time will tell if it pays off.

Quagmire's Take on the Future

As for me, I'm keeping my options open. Maybe I'll buy a robot to clean my apartment. Or maybe I'll just stick to what I know best. You know I need a Robot-Quagmire to take over my life. Giggity giggity goo. Quagmire out.